The Real Deal, Week 2

Well, folks, in exactly 20 days – less than 3 weeks! Yikes – I will go into rehearsals for “Stuffed,” the play I’ve written about food and body image. So there’s literally no turning back. The play shows “the real me” – the “me” behind the Queen of Mean stage personae, and while it feels somewhat liberating to have my authentic self step out of the shadows, there’s still a little fear. Fear of my fans not accepting that real me. And that would be where the true hurt would lie. I mean, it’s one thing if people reject a carefully constructed stage personae, but it’s quite another when they see someone for who she really is and turn their backs. Now, THAT’S rejection.

That’s why I started this blog, “The Real Deal.” To put a toe in the authenticity pool a week at a time. To get used to putting the genuine me out there week after week. That way, by the time the play opens, I’ll be used to it and, hopefully, be ready for anything that comes my way.

So, with that being said, here is the second installment of my blog, “The Real Deal.”
Last week when I was on the phone with my life coach – that’s right, folks! Insult Comic Lisa Lampanelli has a life coach – I was beating myself up for once again losing interest in my exercise routine. I was repeating over and over some variation of, “What the hell is wrong with me? Why can’t I stick with something that’s so good for me? I’m such an idiot. I should know better.” After I was done with my self-flagellation, she was silent for a moment and simply said, “Lisa, no one ever changed permanently by being yelled at.” And, it dawned on me that she was absolutely right.

Sure, we’ve all eaten well, gone to the gym, kept a food diary, kept to a writing or studying plan, but was the change long-lasting? Or did it fall by the wayside because it was beaten into us by a trainer, a teacher, a nutritionist, ourselves? Well, if that was the case, isn’t it worth trying a different approach – something like, forgiving ourselves for the behavior we didn’t like and then waking up and doing it gentler – the next day?
This week, I am working on the practice of forgiving myself. Kindly and calmly looking at behavior that doesn’t serve me, and trying again the next day. No yelling, no beating myself up, and no beating others up in the process in hopes that permanent change comes through me being softer on myself.

So, here is my very abbreviated list of things I forgive myself for today:

Today I will forgive myself for not looking like I did in my ‘20s. I didn’t sign paperwork where I agreed contractually not to get wrinkles or thinner hair or a menopausal belly. And I’m not going to go insane trying to get rid of those things now.

Today I will forgive myself for my cellulite. I didn’t put it there, I can’t get rid of it, and I have to accept it.

Today I will forgive myself for my ever-fluctuating temperature sensitivity. Yo-yo dieting from the age of 18 to the age of 50 has left me feeling physically cold in almost any temperature under 75 degrees. That’s okay – I’ll bring a sweater.

Today I will forgive myself for only working out three times last week. It is completely up to me how much I move my body. As long as I understand and accept the consequences, I am allowed to choose.

Today I will forgive myself for eating that additional Quest bar or ½ pint of Halo Top ice cream when I wasn’t physically hungry. It could have been MUCH worse: I could have chosen a candy bar or Haagen Dazs instead. At least I picked high-protein, low-calorie, low-sugar options. Nobody is perfect, but at least I make better choices than I have in the past.

Today I will forgive myself for my saddlebags. I got them when I hit puberty, I have them now, and – guess what? – they’re part of my genetically engineered shape. So, while I might not love them, they are part of what makes me me.

Today I will forgive myself that I don’t have the body of an Olympic tennis player. First of all, I’m not 25. Second, my body looks great considering what it has gone through in the last 55 years. And that’s good enough.

The Real Deal

Welcome, friends, fans and assorted other curiosity seekers to my first official blog posting on Tumblr. As you probably know, I am a comedian – an insult comedian, at that – so it’s taken me a bit of time (well, over 26 years, to be exact) to begin to show the world who the REAL Lisa Lampanelli is. So, this blog probably won’t be funny (unless it’s due to unintentional misspellings or grammatical errors) and will be my attempt to expose who I really am now that I have taken the risk of writing my first play, “Stuffed.” Since the play opens in the fall, I figured there’s no time like the present. Might as well use the next two months to show folks a little of the realness that they will see in the play. So here goes.

At the beginning of this week, I reblogged a photo of a framed print that said “Start Today.” So today’s blog is simply things that I started to do today and that some of you might want to begin to do as well. This list is as much for me as it is for you: by simply writing it down, it will compel me to hold myself accountable and keep my word to myself to start doing these things today.

Starting today, I will:

– not get angry at the children making noise on my street when I’m trying to sleep. For them, it’s summer, it’s their time off, and it might be one of the few times they get to enjoy a perfect day. Who am I to spoil it?!?

– not beat myself up for running too slow or not running long enough. Less than a year ago, I wasn’t running AT ALL, so however or how long I run today is more than I did then, which equals progress.

– forgive myself for foods I eat that are not healthy for me. I will make a promise to do better at the next meal and, if I fail at that again, I will forgive myself again. No one ever changed permanently by getting yelled at.

– listen – I mean, really listen – instead of having one eye on my screen. True friends actually communicate and that can’t be done by being half-in and half-out.

– remember that everyone is doing the best he or she can. Could my mother clean up after herself better? Maybe. Could that clerk be more present when I ask her about having those pants in my size in the back? Probably. But I remember a coach telling me once that, “If people could do better, they would.” It’s MY job to remember that and know I’ll need their understanding someday too.

– mute the TV for a few minutes and listen to the ocean or the silence or the wind. Sometimes even Mariska Hargitay’s voice isn’t as soothing as other sounds.

– eat when I need to eat, sleep when I need to sleep, and not do the opposite. How many nights have I forced myself to stay awake just to watch yet another episode of “SVU” or do edits to my play and kept myself awake by choosing food over sleep? Why not grab what I really need – rest – and watch my shows or work in the morning? Hmmm … what a novel idea! And less fattening. LOL

Everything buyers should know about Sildenafil Citrate.

Online drugstores are usually available 24 hours a day, and millions of customers are looking for affordable prices, spending well over a billion dollars a year. At any given time, web is a investable market where patients get any remedies for your needs. However some drugs distributed from illegal online pharmacies may contain dangerous ingredients. When you purchase drugs in internet services, you must observe the import restrictions on drugs. What are some tips to identify safe online services? Are you looking for a place to buy high quality prescription medications online? This article focuses on the treatment of erectile dysfunction and There are a number of reputable internet drugstores that will offer legitimate discounts. Admittedly, discount medicine services allow consumers to gain access to their prescriptions at great prices with fast shipping. You can get medicament to treat acute treatment of the signs of rheumatoid arthritis or cramp. Additionally there are another medications to take into consideration. Anyway generic medicines must have exactly the same active ingredients as the original brand product, and they can be expected to have the same effect when used in place of a original brand medicaments. What’s the best pills, anyway? You may take the drug yourself, or a medical professional may prescribe it to you. In this article I just have expained some of the significant features of importance.

Perharps Sildenafil Citrate is one of the best medicines of all time. What is the best medicament for male impotence? Remedies, like this, as sure as a gun, is going to improve your life. Take the drug exactly as prescribed by your pharmacist.

The most common health disorders in men are erectile dysfunction, as well as inhibited sexual desire. In our generation, there are numerous options for people who suffer from such disease. What do you already know about this link? The perfect time to start treatment is when symptoms only appear. The evidence shows that it is one of the best remedies of all time. But be reminded, the effectiveness of the medications will differ from one person to another. Topics, like side effects of Sildenafil Citrate, refer to a lot of types of medical problems. Notwithstanding erectile dysfunction’s frequency does increase with age, it isn’t as inevitable as you might think. Treatment depends on the cause of the impotence. While impotence is more common in men over 75, men of any age can develop sexual health problems. Sexual health is an momentous part of a man’s life, no matter his civil status etc. However, sexual disorders can help depression and reaffirm the joys of living. How does erectile dysfunction occur? Low self-esteem, mental health concerns, anxiety, and some medicines can reduce your desire. Realizing what underlying stressors may exist may be the most important step in treatment. There are more than 200 common medications can lead to the problem, including some blood pressure drugs, pain medicines and most of hormones. A common class of antidepressants, which include Prozac – can cause erectile dysfunction. Chronic illness, several remedies and a condition called Peyronie’s disease can also cause erectile dysfunction.

Likely every man has heard at least something about it. Sure thing there are risks possible with any type of generic. Deciding to take drug is all about balancing potential benefits against dangerous unwanted effects. Contrary to expectations, like most drugs, it can cause serious side effects in a small number of people. Some drugs may interact with this remedy, including over-the-counter vitamins. Not all likely interactions are listed in basic medication guide. The most common potentially serious side effects of such drugs is flushing. Contact local sex therapist if you have any dangerous side effect that does not go away. If you take a pharmaceutical medication yourself, it’s up to you to watch for problems, such as a swelling or other unwanted effects. It is recommended that patients make sure that you understand everything about taking drug.

Follow the all directions on your prescription label. Your generic is for you. Never give your drugs to other people even if their complaints to be the same as yours. Usually the journey to a fit lifestyle is more like trial. Of course it isn’t all. Actually, you should know some aspects before deciding which one is right and which one is the ugly. Do not order remedies from an online drugstore that offers to write prescriptions or that sells drugs without prescriptions. home Remember, if you have more questions about the matter ask your pharmacist.

Find the Sildenafil Citrate info you want.

Respectable online drugstores enjoy great popularity among patients for several reasons. What aspects people look for when they are going to order any medicines? Besides, the risk of increased antibiotic resistance arising from their misuse have been suggested as negative consequences of online purchase of medicament. If you consider buying medicaments on the internet, check the information where it is based. So it does make a difference where you get prescription medicaments and vitamins. If you are interested in purchasing remedies online, now it is the best moment to order it. Perhaps you know about Let’s talk about wide variety of medications exists. Admittedly, internet pharmacies is becoming more popular over the past 10 years. For example customers can get antibiotics that fights infection caused by bacteria. Such medicines will not treat a viral infection for instance a common cold. There are various other medicines. Generic medicaments are the bioequivalent to name-brand drugs, meaning they have the exact same effect. Are generics really cheaper than brand-name products? You may take the medication yourself, or a physician may give it to you. Many of us already know about there are some facts to be considered while going to be healthy.

Other fitting example is Sildenafil Citrate. What is the best remedy for male impotence? Like all other drugs, it is predominantly classified according of it’s active ingredient. The evidence shows that taking such remedy can help relieve symptoms.

Some popular prescriptions can mean screwing with your erection. Let’s find answers to your most important questions about erectile dysfunction. What about sexual disorders and click? The very first matter about this is that, this medicine has been on the market for certain years in sundry countries. As reported in British Journal of Ophthalmology one of the most best-known is Sildenafil Citrate. What is the most considerable information you have to study about this opportunity? Of all the things in the field of public health that pique our interest most, it’s erectile dysfunction, notably it. Several medications, trauma or outside influences can cause erectile dysfunction. Treatment depends on the cause of the ED. What is more, this is a fairly common condition, notably as you age. Anyone with sexual health problems need professional help. Mostly in this situation, cognitive behavioral therapy is the treatment used. Naturally, persistent alcohol use induced erectile dysfunction as well. Sixty-seven percent of Americans diagnosed with alcohol dependence syndrome were diagnosed with impotence. Why does impotence happen? Low desire isn’t the same as erectile dysfunction, but many similar points that stifle an erection can also reduce your libido. Although ED itself isn’t necessarily dangerous, erectile dysfunction is sometimes one of the earliest warning signs of other underlying health problems that can be quite severe. Despite the fact that the drug is credited with nerve pain, it can also cause sexual health problems. Chronic medical conditions, some remedies,as well as a condition called Peyronie’s disease can also cause sexual dysfunction.

What physicians talk about side effects of medicaments? In the long run there are many serious health risks in taking prescription medicines. Still in remedy, a aftereffect is an effect, whether therapeutic or adverse, that is secondary to the one intended. You also need medical attention immediately if you experience an allergic reaction to the medication. Other medications may interact with this medicament, including over-the-counter vitamins. Not all likely interactions are listed in this medication guide. You must always ask physician for professional advice about adverse events. We’ll look at each of these side effects in detail in future articles. The prescription drug should not be taken with other treatments for erectile dysfunction, as the safety of such combinations have not been established. Preparatory to buying this remedy, tell your healthcare practitioner if you are allergic to anything. However, only your pharmacist can determine if the drug is appropriate for you. Once you’ve learned this key information about ED from us, you may want to study what other trusted sources have to say. Take the time to consider what things could get in the way of your success. Unconditionally, features that can affect your choice may be different. Keeping this information in view, do some research to see if online pharmacy offering discount remedies could be the right fit for you to help you save money on valuable generic. home Absolutely, the most vital factor that is considered while buying medicaments from the Web is to make a good choice.